Just a little while until our little revolutionary

Only a few hours left, plus or minus. The little one will change our lives for the better. More lessons we will learn. Decisions, thoughts, actions, emotions, skills.  All our old ways will be challenged and sharpened by this little one.

And I can't wait!

*blink*

Pete

Here he comes!

Well folks, this is it!  Baby Boy should be here in the next day or so!  I'll spare you the gory details, and just tell you, with all certainty, this baby will be out and about within the next 47 hours at a maximum!  If he doesn't come out on his own in that time, they'll take him out.  But don't let that worry you - this little guy is doing all the right stuff and we have every reason to believe he'll be making a very traditional, safe, and healthy entrance.

Your prayers for a safe and happy time for everyone involved are appreciated!

Squirrel Hoarding

Debbie the Squirrel

Squirrels are known for hoarding food for winter by stockpiling nuts in trees and other hiding places.  I've been embracing my inner squirrel this week.  In the past 48 hours, I have prepared the following:

• Chicken Enchiladas (16 servings)
• Pot Roast with Vegetables (14 servings)
• Sweet & Sour Meatballs (12 servings)
• Meatloaf (16 servings)
• Tuna Casserole (16 servings)
• Chicken Paprikash (12 servings)
• Ham & Potatoes Au Gratin (20 servings)

That is over 106 servings - about 53 straight days of dinner!  This has been a huge undertaking and required cycling meal after meal through the oven or crock pot on a pre-planned schedule.  All of this food has been portioned into vacuum-sealed freezer bags, with 2 portions per bag, and can be easily re-prepared by simply boiling-in-bag for 10 minutes. I also stockpiled a few other food items for Thai Chicken Peanut Stir Fry, which must be freshly prepared (but is an easy-peasy recipe), as well as a mountain of frozen vegetables to keep scurvy at bay and give us some variety.

It is impossible to have a full grasp of what life will be like when Baby Tebault arrives, but at least we can know that, regardless of how busy or sleepy we are, we will be able to eat good food and stick to our monthly food budget! 

Wake me when we get there...

Our little guy is doing fantastic - wiggling plenty, growing fast, and stopping for naps every now and then!  He has assumed the proper head-down position for his big entrance and will probably stay there the remainder of the pregnancy.  It has become quite easy to see his long limbs when they push out on my belly, and also, to elicit a response from him if we gently press on his feet or pat his little bum.  He gets the hiccups from time to time and gets very active when I drink chocolate milk.

This Mommy, on the other hand, is quite sleepy these days, although also generally fantastic.  My sleepiness has reached semi-disabling proportions in this home-stretch, and according to my doctor, this is perfectly normal.  I promise that I am relishing this last opportunity to sleep before the baby comes, but must inform those who have never been pregnant that unfortunately, the quality of sleep is quite terrible for most women in late pregnancy and involves waking up every hour or so from various common symptoms.  It is an excellent lesson in becoming a "sleep opportunist" - an important skill for early parenthood.

Also, the size of my belly is very large, my upper spine is a cantilevered beam coming off the 20 pound belly, and my body mechanics require much more forethought and care.  Basic activities have become much more labor and time intensive.  I am so thankful that my wonderful husband is willing to help me take care of myself and keep the household functioning.  He helps me hang onto my dignity in countless ways; for example, he has some excellent toe painting skills and recently painted the toes I can no longer reach myself.  I am so grateful for this because my feet have swelled well beyond the limits of all of my shoes, except for one pair of flip-flops we recently bought in desperation since the barefoot thing wasn't working out.  I have to wear flip-flops all the time now, whether they match or not, and it is so nice to have toes I can be very proud of. 

Our Big "Little" Guy!

Baby Tebault is still measuring big - about 2 and a half weeks ahead of the due date - and perhaps as much as 25% larger than average babies at his age. Our most recent ultrasound showed he's already put on lots of baby fat, and has big chubby cheeks and several chins - so this wasn't a surprise.  His heartbeat was chugging along great and when the doc asked if he was moving much, Baby Tebault gave the doc a big kick right on his hand that was resting on my belly.

A chubby baby is a sign of a healthy baby and there is absolutely no concern that he is "too" chubby.  This "measuring ahead" has been pretty consistent throughout the pregnancy, however, Baby Tebault may slow down his growth towards the very end of the pregnancy and fall back into a more average size category.  Many babies measure ahead and come out an average size, or visa versa.  Either way, the baby is healthy and will be here before we know it! 

So close I can feel him!

He is getting bigger and more active now. Every day I am amazed at the little life growing inside my wife's beautiful frame. I can't wait for the little guy to get here. Each week we have been moving mountains, each week closer to perfect as we prepare the house to receive our special guest. Only a few weeks more now. Just around the corner, yet it seems other-worldly still. So much we won't know until he comes.

I love this time and will miss it when he is here. I know it will be even harder, different, and so much better than I can imagine now.

Soon.

I think we're going to have a little frog...

Baby likes jumping!

So Baby Tebault has a new hobby for the past week. He likes to plant his little feet on the side of my belly, or just under my stomach, and push... and almost instantly, his head (at least, I think it is his head) bounces off the opposite side of my belly. My belly takes on an oblong shape and you can really see the two big lumps on either side as he stretches out. The the little guy repeats this - for hours and hours all day and night. He feels like a little frog, playing some sort of jumping game.  I love it, and it brings me a lot of comfort to be reminded that he is having a party in there.  Sometimes, he gets a little rhythm going with his hops, and my whole belly just bounces up and down and up and down. 

His other hobby is "marching", where he alternates moving one foot and then the other - the whole time bouncing his head off the other side of my belly. Sometimes, he'll stretch one leg out - it will shake for a second, and then return to folded position. I think he is stretching - just like we do, or a cat does.

Both of these hobbies he does at varying speeds of leg movement (usually speed is strongly correlated with sugary/cold drinks or me taking a nap on my side).

Early bird? Not this time!

These are contractions.

Our little man was rehearsing for his big entrance into the world this week.  I didn't realize it, but I have been having contractions for over a month now.  On Thursday, we went to the hospital because of some concerning symptoms, and when they hooked me up to the contraction monitors, they asked, "You're contracting every two minutes - did you know this?"  I did not, as I thought the mild aches and pains were nothing compared to others I have felt during the pregnancy, and I had not noticed any pattern whatsoever.  I thought the nurse was joking with me for a split second. 

The baby was perfectly healthy and didn't seem to mind the contractions at all - he just continued his usual pattern of moving a lot and taking cat naps.  The doctors gave me two doses of medicine to stop the contractions, and it seemed to slow them down a lot, so they discharged me.

Now that I am home and I know what contractions feel like, I can tell that I am having contractions occassionally, but it is easier to avoid the circumstances that trigger them: walking, going from seated to standing, high heat, standing on hard surfaces for a long time, etc.  I just have to listen to my body more and take evasive action if I feel one start.  It's no big deal to me and the doctors aren't concerned either, but it does slow me down a lot.  I'm not on mandatory bed rest, and the magical fetal fibronectin test showed that baby is firmly snuggled inside and not planning to make his entrance anytime in the next few weeks. 

These next weeks are very important for the baby's development, especially his major organs, his brain, and his chubby cheeks (these are the weeks when the baby plumps up with fat).  It is good to know he'll be able to do that hard work and still be cozy in my belly.

Date Change

Baby is due Oct. 21st

The more I learn about the childbirthing process, the less of a hurry I am in.  An induced labor comes with extra risks I am hoping to avoid, if at all possible.  Many doctors force inductions if you are 7 days late or more.  Up until now, I have been using the ultrasound due dates as my primary guess of when the baby is coming, however, the doctor has been using a later date.  I now think it wiser to use my doctor's date because it gives Baby Boy extra time to be "late" without requiring an induction.  If you would like more information about the risks of doctor intervention and inductions during labor, I highly recommend watching the documentary, "The Business of Being Born", but must caution that the documentary is not approriate for children or the workplace, as it shows some full-monty, reality-of-childbirth stuff.

So, I have changed my ticker above to reflect the doctor's later due date of October 21st.  For all the grandmothers keeping track with their countdown blocks - please make a note of it.  (wink)

Growth and progress!

These past few weeks have been spectacular. They have reminded me how much love there is in our lives and what a wonderful world we're bringing Baby Tebault into. I just celebrated my 32nd birthday, and it was a splendid time. I was surprised by a group of old and dear friends and my fantastic husband, who threw me a surprise dinner party at one of my favorite restaurants. I am so excited to surround Baby Tebault with such wonderful and caring people.

In other news, Baby Tebault has reached new proportions and has perfected the art of kicking Mama in the tummy. They are usually very gentle kicks and lovely reminders of his precious life. I thought I would mind more when I got to this point, but for now I'm savoring every little kick and don't mind the unpleasant side effects while I'm eating.

There is a lot of healthy developing going on, and plenty of signs that Baby Tebault is growing big and strong. There is also plenty of nesting going on, as Pete and I do our best to prepare for all the known and unknown aspects of parenthood. It does feel a little bit like building something in the dark - there's just so much we can't know right now about how it will all turn out and how ready we'll actually be for his arrival!

This weekend, we'll be building the baby's crib (thank you again, Grandpa and Grandma T) and hanging cute little boy clothes on cute little boy hangers (many thanks to the many very stylish folks who have contributed to Little Man Tebault's impressive wardrobe)!

Boot to the Head

Since most of our knowable interactions with baby at this point consist of baby kicking me, we have taken to calling the little guy "Kung Fu Panda" sometimes. Yesterday morning, Pete put his head on my belly to listen for any noise or vibrations from Baby Tebault. Sure enough, after a few moments of quiet, my whole belly bounced with a great big kick from the baby that nailed Pete square in the ear. It was a great kick and we've had some good laughs about the first time Baby kicked Daddy in the head, eventhough it was purely accidental. Boot to the head!

This brought back some happy 1980's memories for us and we thought we'd share a little "Boot to the Head" with you:

Click here to hear the classic '80's comedy routine, "Boot to the Head".

Pregnancy joy!

Today I feel very blessed for the privilege of being pregnant, especially in this time and place. As a newly inaugurated member of the population that understands the traumas, joys, discomforts, and life changing nature of pregnancy, I often marvel at how women in 3rd world countries and women in past generations survive(d) and thrive(d) during pregnancy. How does a pregnant gal get any sleep without a comfy mattress and 5,000 pillows to bolster the aching limbs and redistribute weight?

I got some new maternity clothes over the weekend (thanks Pete!) because I surprisingly outgrew the belly part of many of the maternity clothes I bought at the outset. I would like to take a moment to applaud the person who invented stretchy belly bands for the top of pants, shorts, etc. I bought some shorts and capris, which will likely be 99% of my wardrobe during this hot Phoenician summer, and I'm SO much more comfortable than I was without them. The belly is getting quite heavy these days and having the extra support around the belly feels nice too.

I still owe you all a video of the latest ultrasound and promise to publish one sometime before the baby arrives. I recently bought some new video editing software and have no idea how to use it; it wasn't as immediately user-friendly as I'd planned on. I'll likely get to the video project after our upcoming travel.

He's a Mover and a Shaker!

Our Little Man is a mover and a shaker! These past few weeks, he's really picked up strength and size, enabling me to feel his feet and hands as he bounces around inside my belly. I'm very excited about our upcoming ultrasound - just a few days away and we'll get to spend some time spying on him in there. I'm really curious to see what it looks like when he moves around, since I get to feel it so much and it makes me wonder, "What in the world is going on in there!"

In other news, we got the quad screen results back (checking levels of various substances in my blood stream which indicate whether the baby might have neural tube defects, down syndrome, or another chromosomal abnormality). I am very pleased, grateful, and relieved to report that the results came back "perfect" and the risk of any such disorders is considered as low as possible.

First and Last La Leche League Experience

Today I attended a La Leche League meeting as part of a homework assignment for my birthing class. While I respect the work La Leche has done to educate the community about the benefits of breastfeeding, there was a lot about this meeting I found it difficult to respect. I was hoping to learn something new about breastfeeding, but instead I was pummeled with the politics of public breastfeeding. The women at the meeting shared "battle stories" about breastfeeding in public without covering up, quite proud of the political statement they were making.

It seemed to me, based on the women's words and actions with their children also in attendance, that they had much greater interest in "defying social norms" than nurturing their children. Many admitted to being "lazy parents" who used breastfeeding as distraction when they were too tired to parent their misbehaving children. They acted like modesty was a social cancer! Definitely a far cry from my own beliefs about modesty.

It was also rather disconcerting to witness children, who were the same age I was when I started taking public transportation by myself in San Francisco, climbing into their mother's laps to be breastfed! I also did not appreciate their continual remarks that were completely intolerant of other childrearing practices and their disbelief and disdain for some mothers who are physically unable to breastfeed!

Another observation was that there seemed to be a uniform worn by the regular attenders of this meeting. I counted no less than 90% adeherence to this dress code among the 20 women in attendance: birkenstock brand sandals - the traditional "brown" ones.

I'm glad I sat patiently through the whole meeting and glad I never need to return. I look forward to the possibility of breastfeeding our baby boy, but will do so with modesty and discretion. And I won't be wearing birkenstocks.

Good Check-up

Little Man Tebault gave us a nice strong heartbeat at his check-up today! He has also recently started a new tap dancing routine which I occasionally feel, and greatly enjoy! His legs are getting stronger and bigger, so I can better feel his little kicks. It is a heartwarming and wonderful feeling!

It's a BOY!

We were scheduled to find out baby's gender at the end of May, but I received an advertisement for a private "ultrasound spa" where a person can pay out of pocket for a quick gender detecting ultrasound. Curiosity got the best of us and we decided to splurge on the 15 minute "gender sneek peek", which was surprisingly affordable (about the cost of a dinner out!).

Baby was very active, turning over, waving his arms and long legs. His activity made it pretty easy to catch a glimpse of the "gender detection area". We also got to see that baby had 5 fingers on each hand and 5 toes on each foot. Baby has a cute little button nose, his palate looks healthy (no risk of cleft palate), his spine is properly closed (no sign of spina bifida), and he is definitely a BOY. He left zero doubt of that and was not bashful, turning this way and that, so we could see his parts from all sides. Baby's legs look very long and he was continually crossing them at the ankles to sit "indian style" and then uncrossing them to "pedal the imaginary bicycle". Baby's hands were waving around, playing with the umbilical cord, touching his face, and occassionally, baby sucked his thumb!

It was a delight to see our baby is growing well and to learn that he's a HE! We are so excited to meet our Little Man Tebault in October! I will post a picture of this recent ultrasound on the ultrasound page.

Pause, and then continue

My lovely Deb has spent the last few days in a trance-like state due to a combination of allergies and some sort of infection, nasal congestion, etc.  I feel for her, the time flies by, the days become a blur.  Apparently it's pretty normal at this time of the pregnancy (thank goodness for lots of websites that let people share experiences, it's very reassuring to me.)

Ok, back to work now.

You are what you eat...

If the saying, "You are what you eat!" is true, than our baby is going to be made of fresh grapes and chocolate milk.

Just saying...

Peek into the future?

I found a fun website that combines photographs to show what the offspring of two people might look like. I put in a photo of Pete and one photo of me. Here's what turned up!

Girl baby might look like this:

Boy baby might look like this:

Gender date set! Tune in on May 27th!

Barring any surprise appointments - we are having our next ultrasound on May 27th, and at the ultrasound we will learn whether we're having a BOY or a GIRL! I encourage you to make your guesses, we enjoy them a lot; please also provide your rationale for the gender guess - these crack us up too and it will be fun to see which might "hold water".

A lesson in faith...

Pete started his new job today. The house is quiet and I have lots of work to put my hands to. I miss Pete's company and mourn the completion of this unexpected second honeymoon, but I'm deeply satisfied with everything that has happened and eager to roll up my sleeves and get going!


Some of my deep satisfaction stems from the fact that the past few months have provided me the most tangible lesson in faith of my adult life. God's plan is perfect, and sometimes we must obey now and understand later. For the first time I can recall, I made a conscious choice not to worry and leave the understanding to God's timing. It was a choice I had to make several times over, but a majority of this waiting period, I had a deep sense that everything was going to be okay because God was working things out for good.


Let's back up to last Fall. When the writing was on the wall that Pete was unemployed, it was a crushing blow to me because I felt this change, in large part, ended a lifelong dream of mine. We could no longer afford to pursue my dream and I scrambled to figure out why God had led us across the entire country to pursue this dream, only to take it away a few months later. God had already taken away my dream of having children, according to the doctors, and now God was taking away something else! We had prayed over the decision to pursue that career dream of mine for months before we left, and God had orchestrated many amazing things to make it happen. How could it end this way? Was the point of our journey not what everyone assumed it would be?


It was a rough couple of months, thereafter, as God slowly revealed to me His perfection, in spite of me flipping Him the bird on more than one occassion. God revealed to me that our cross-country journey was a perfectly orchestrated part of His loving plan for more reasons than I can share in a blog post. God had carried us to Virginia Beach, taught us exactly what we needed to learn, carried us home, and would continue to faithfully move His plan forward regardless of our "understanding". Over the course of a few months, God helped me understand why He brought me to the edge of a dream and kept me from leaping over the edge into a life that would not allow us to embrace other plans He had for us. Our pursuing the dream was not a mistake. Our leaving the dream behind was not a mistake either! He did all of this on terms that affirmatively answered long-held questions about my own ability to accomplish it; He did it on terms that allowed me to hold it in my hands and purposefully choose to put it down with confidence that I was making the right choice and pleasing Him. He did it in a way that brought Pete and I CLOSER to eachother and closer to Him. How merciful!


This new understanding of God's hand in our lives made it easy to relax in spite of bad-looking circumstances. I often thought to myself, "I can't see the end of this valley yet, but I know it's out there somewhere and I'll feel very silly for worrying when this is all over - so I'm choosing not to worry." Somehow, we made it home, found a new place to live, and had plentiful food in our bellies. Yes, we were living on my tiny income and savings, and yet God provided more than enough.


Imagine our shock and joy when, rather unexpectedly, just two months later, we learned that we were pregnant! The well-meaning doctors were wrong! Knowing little about pregnancy (in spite of reading dozens of books on the topic), I was shocked beyond belief when I became more ill than ever in my life. I worried about how we would pay for pregnancy care and my hospitalization - but God provided there too.


Thank God Pete was unemployed, because I was incapable of caring for myself for nearly 2 months! Pete, quite literally, saved my life by his continual presence and loving care. On more than one occassion, he made judgment calls that prevented life threatening situations for both me and Baby Tebault. He also became the chef, the housekeeper, the bookkeeper, the family updater, and my personal nurse who gave me medicine through an IV, helped me bathe, and blended many meals so I could eat them through a straw.


It amazes me that God could bring me from a place of cursing Him over Pete's unemployment, to absolute joy and awe at His incredible provision and timing in allowing me to have my wonderful husband, my best-friend, by my side through TWO of the most frightening ordeals of my adult life: putting down one of my lifelong dreams (one among many) AND coming closer to death than ever before.


Pete's unemployment gave me:


- the perspective I needed to realize that God was asking me to put down one goal in exchange for His promise of something better;


- precious time for a babymoon with my husband;


- a full-time caregiver who protected me and Baby Tebault from life-threatening conditions;


- 6 months of adventure and fun with my best-friend, including several VERY long road trips (my favorite thing!);


- inspiration to re-evaluate finances and willingness to adhere to better financial principles that will serve us well as parents;


- a sense of accomplishment on having survived so many scrapes with Pete and only increased our love, mutual respect, and friendship; and


- the opportunity for both of us to sleep-in regularly and savor quiet time together before we welcome our darling little cherub into the world.


I'm sure there are countless ways God provided through Pete's unemployment that I haven't even identified yet.


I look forward, without sight, but with more confidence than ever before that God will continue His good work in our lives.

New employment!

I can't say enough about God's provision for us during this time.  We were literally on the ropes in any human measure, a number of times in the past few months.  Each time, when we prayed, when we asked, when we trusted, God came through.  Although I was unemployed, He provided for us financially in many ways.  Because I was unemployed, I was able to spend my time and energy in the best ways: loving and caring for my wife, maintaining our household, having fun with our cats, reflecting on my experience and learning about myself in ways that will assist my career going forward.

God's presence has been consistent and amazing through this experience.  It has truly been a
spiritual retreat and a time of massive growth for us.

And now, according to His timing, I have a wonderful new job starting on April 12th!

Baby's doin' good!

We are officially past the high risk time and any risk of miscarriage is now below 5% for the remainder of the pregnancy. Yay! We had a good check-up this morning and baby's heart was strong and loud! The doc had just finished warning us that we might not hear the heartbeat with his tiny doppler machine, and as soon as he put the wand on Debbie's belly "WOOSH WOOSH WOOSH" a loud and clear and perfect baby heart rate! It was great to hear that baby is doing so well.

Provision

The most wonderful and comforting thing to me about the entire experience so far has been God's affirming reminders of His provision for us.

We had tried to get pregnant. When we affirmed God's supremacy and the full sanctity and personhood of our potential child, and therefore relinquished the idea that we had any "rights" to this new person, we stopped our planning and plotting, gave up our supposed control, and immediately found we were pregnant.

I thought I knew what my role was. I thought, "I must have a job and earn money in order to be a good husband." Deb got really ill, and I forgot all about my job search in order to learn how to adapt and be her best caretaker. No sooner had I learned how to relinquish my ideas of control here too, than He has now provided an excellent job offer.

I'm amazed, humbled, and happy to confirm that, "[His] yoke is easy and [His] burden is light." When I stop "figurin'" and trust Him, He is faithful.

Doing much better now

We finally got the dosage of my meds right and I am doing great. Here's a picture Pete took from the depths of my dispair, shortly before I was hospitalized. I'm so glad those days are behind me! Phew!

Eventhough I lost 15 pounds, my belly pooch is still growing! Someday soon, I hope it will look more like a baby and less like too much beer!

Hello World!

Here is a picture from Baby's First Photo Shoot!

Good appointment today. Ultrasound tomorrow!

We were told today's appointment was for our viability/dating ultrasound, but were surprised to learn that they weren't doing the ultrasound today. They instead wrote us a referral form to go have the ultrasound performed at the lab downstairs in their building. The lab's earliest availability is tomorrow afternoon.

So we will go in tomorrow afternoon. The lab offers a free DVD recording of the ultrasound (as long as we bring our own blank DVD-RW), so we'll have our first movie of baby tomorrow! I'll see if there's some way we can put the pertinent parts on this website so you all can see the heartbeat too!

It was a dark and stormy night...

No sooner did I write the previous post, then my health took a turn downhill. The past 48 hours have been gruesome. Pete is a fantastic help, reminding me to do basic things and bringing me a steady supply of plain toast. My ketones spiked this morning to a dangerous level, but we redoubled our efforts with gatorade and nutrition after a rough night, and my ketones are headed back in the right direction. Just the fact that I am able to sit up and type is a great sign of improvement! My condition makes me very weak so simply sitting up in bed can be very tiring. I have lost 7 pounds since we returned home from the hospital last week, and about 10 pounds since the start of the pregnancy.

My goal is to treat the dehydration and starvation from home so that I don't have to return to the hospital. As long as my ketones stay under a certain level, we feel okay staying home. If they hit a certain "critical" level, as advised by a nurse, we will head to the hospital immediately.

We have a doctor appointment on Monday. Hopefully, the doctor will have some additional steps we can take since the medicine is no longer controlling the hyperemesis gravidarum.

One day at a time, one hour at a time, one sip at a time!

Home Sweet Home

We are home after a week in the hospital and more harrowing experiences than I care to recount. After a few days home, I had my PICC line removed, and have regained my ability to eat and drink normally. I feel more healthy every day. I am so grateful that my wonderful husband was able to be with me 24/7 during this time, which was one of the most frightening experiences of my life. Since regaining my health, I find myself savoring many simple experiences like the flavor of food, the warmth of sunshine on my arms, the songs of the birds outside my window, and the refreshment of a deep breath.

Today is my first day back at work in my home office. The normalcy is exhilirating!

We are both looking forward to Monday, March 14th, when we will get to see baby for the first time via ultrasound. Once we see the heartbeat and have confirmed that things are progressing well, we intend to "go public" with our good news. From all outward signs, Baby Tebault is eating well and growing strong!

How do you spell relief?

We visited the good folks at Banner Desert tonight.  They are taking good care of us, and Deb is soundly asleep now.

Adaptation through the impossible

It has been amazing to watch Deb push through a week of the most arduous hell I've ever seen someone experience.  She has in one short week figured out how to master her morning sickness.

This seems like yet another way we humans can adapt, even when we think we can't.  Even when we can't imagine what "the other side" will look like, with God's strength encouraging us, we move along.



When we started, neither of us knew what it would be like.  We had read books, blogs, scoured the internet.  We had no ideas really.  Nothing was a real preparation for the actual experience.

This shows the difficulty of studying things I have not yet experienced.  How can I glean more substance from the breadcrumbs our predecessors leave for us?  Those are the questions I'm pondering in this area.


Meantime, prayer and the knowledge that others have gone before, help.

Jobless and loving it.

God has given me the opportunity to have something of a retreat with my wife for the last few months.  We have gone through some of the most painful times, and have continued to work to encourage and love each other through it.


It is pretty awesome to be able to hang out every moment with my wife, to be her partner and her support.

Training regimen for humans

The horror for the wife that is morning sickness, and the corresponding work that the husband must do, are one of the rare (thankfully) and painful growth times that God has given us.  This week I've had the privilege of seeing my wife become the champion of her own morning sickness, pushing through some of the toughest physical and mental time I've ever seen someone go through.  I'm prouder than ever of her.

The work this week has been hard, the sleep hasn't been great.  It's been painful to hear Deb viscerally suffer.  Now that a week has passed, we've learned a whole lot, and feel closer to each other and better for the experience.

So, the nutshell my tips for husbands to survive morning sickness.

• Yes, it sucks, it's painful.  Keep 100% of your attention on your wife's experience here, and use what you learn to adapt.  Stop, listen, and appreciate the pain.
• Keep hydrated no matter what. Like a ruthless coach makes you run circuits, keep drinking water and/or electrolytes.
• Make a list of foods that work. Buy them. Use your time wisely.
• Read up on what others have experienced.  Yes, google morning sickness.
• Read it.
• Use your dishwasher.  (This was my monkey.  I liked hand-washing dishes as some sort of zen practice.  I now use the timesaving devices as much as possible.)
• Pre-portion the food, keep anything that is shelf-stable in small portions near the wife at all times.
• Medicines: well, you need to google it and decide.  We'll tell you if our children have anomalies.

I got to watch my wife go through the most agonizing, depressing, hopeless, awful experience, only to come out the other side, now having learned to handle it like a pro.

I spoke too soon...

While the Sea Bands are helpful, they too have limits. The morning sickness reached new levels overnight. For example, I can no longer ride in a car or walk down a staircase without... well... you know. Empty plastic bags are my new favorite accessory.

The doctor called me in a prescription for a powerful anti-nausea medication to be taken every 8 hours that has the added benefit of sleepiness, and she also recommended an OTC medication to be taken twice daily. Since I've already lost an unhealthy amount of weight and I'm having trouble keeping down the proper nutrition, she asked me to spend time off my feet and to increase my caloric intake as much as I can stand.

I've been reminded by Pete and close friends that the majority of women get sick during pregnancy, it isn't forever, and morning sickness is strongly correlated with healthy babies and successful full-term pregnancies.

Hallelujah! Relief!

Sea Bands. I was a skeptic.

They work. After suffering from 24/7 nausea for the last while, Pete and I were driven in desperation to the drugstore to procure as many possible remedies as we could. I put the Sea Bands on in the car, and snickered to Pete that I didn't think they'd work.

By the time we got home - my nausea was GONE. A few minutes later I realized my dizziness was gone too! WHAT A THRILL! Still plenty of fun symptoms, but nothing as distracting and disabling as the nausea. Wonderful!

Also, I got more happy test results today. My second beta blood draw test was supposed to approximately double in the time period between tests, but mine QUADRUPLED to 7429! Baby is growing well by all indications! At those numbers, it means baby already has a beating heart that can be detected via ultrasound!

We are meant for community

We had a lovely dinner last night with some good friends. It was very refreshing to be reminded from those conversations, a bit more about who I am. I know from Genesis 1:27 that I'm made in God's image, but it takes feedback from good friends to remind me of that.

It was nice to honestly share our feelings, our frustrations, our joys, and to know that we'll get together again in the future and look back (with new struggles) on when these present times seemed so important.

That reassurance is wonderful, it's creative, it's dynamic and vital. I am writing this down to remind myself, lest I ever forget and be tempted to pride and self-sufficiency, that without friends, my outlook is bleaker, it's hollower, it echoes with loneliness, I forget the image that God has placed in me.

With those friends, I know a bit more about who I am, and how to live today with great hope for the promise of tomorrow.

A letter to morning sickness...

Dear Morning Sickness,

I haven't known you long, but you have already worn out your welcome. I know how much you hate ginger, and plan on serving ginger with every meal until you leave: ginger tea, ginger snaps, ginger ale... Don't like it? There's the door.

How rude to demand attention, regardless of whether I'm asleep or in public! I will roll over and ignore you. I will eat a "triple ginger cookie" at 4am and sleep for another 3 hours. I will be vigilant and not allow you to catch me unprepared.

I am hereby declaring war on you, Morning Sickness. You will be conquered and subdued. You are temporary.

My first act of war? A ginger cookie and a nap. Take THAT!

With repugnance,

Deborah

And the lucky number is... 1806!

Today was a fabulous day at the women's clinic! After waiting for 3 long days, they gave me some test results that show baby is growing at a healthy rate! (For the medically knowledgeable, my hcg count on 4 weeks, 3 days was 1806!) This is such a big relief because, already, Baby Tebault has surpassed the numbers from our prior pregnancy loss by leaps and bounds.

We are awaiting another set of test results early next week (Monday or Tuesday). Once we have those results, we will attain another level of certainty which is my threshhold before telling the next batch of folks the good news. Wahoo!

What a week, stress and joy

This week, we had our first visit to the doctor, and had many of our questions and concerns (especially financial) allayed.  We found a wonderful place to get lab tests at a lower cost (but high quality.)  We were disappointed and stressed by having to wait much longer for results than we had been promised.  We found out after that wait that, "Yes!", our numbers were 1806, which mean that statistically, we're very pregnant.

Finally we took an evening and just relaxed, kept ourselves insulated from baby talk, work talk, finance talk.  It was a wonderful recalibration for us.  In that moment, and quiet moments like it, I get to look back and enjoy the feeling that, despite life's hurdles, there is real joy in this period of growth. We get to depend on each other and on God much more than before.  God has brought us here, the way he has, for a good reason.  He has broken down strongholds of pride, leaving us weak and vulnerable, and now he is pouring out his love for us in the form of peace and provision.

Onward!

First batch of doctor visits today!

This morning we achieved a wonderful milestone: we had a good doctor visit about Baby Tebault!

I was surprisingly nervous about today's visit, probably since my last baby-related doctor visit in 2007 ended with the doctor walking out in ominous silence, followed by a brief and clinical explanation that we were about to miscarry.

Today, I jumped for joy when the nurse and doctor both announced, "Congratulations, you are most definitely pregnant and everything looks healthy and normal!" Everybody in the office was eager to shake Pete's hand and tell us congratulations! It felt fabulous to get positive feedback without the shadow of worry dimming their ability to celebrate with us. I know that some people are really nervous about the possibility of us miscarrying again, and it dampens their joy for us - an unfortunate, understandable, but hurtful reaction that only a very few people have had. This makes the unbridled, joyous reactions much sweeter and more appreciated for us. We both floated out of the doctor's office on a cloud.

In other news, we are feeling some comfort on the prenatal care cost front. We met with a finance person at our doctor's office who specializes in helping people without insurance. She helped us pre-register for Baby Arizona (state insurance) and will learn in 21 days whether we were approved. If not, the doctor offers a cash payment plan that seemed pretty reasonable. We also found a Christian organization that is willing to do my all lab work for 1/5th the cost of the regular phlebotomy labs. What a blessing and relief!

I never thought we would be in the position of being pregnant without insurance. Although I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I feel such gratitude for programs like Baby Arizona and the Christian women's pregnancy center. So THANK YOU for paying taxes and donating to your church - you are playing an ACTIVE role in the health of our baby, the sanctity of life, and our ability to get care while we're in an unexpected, uninsured situation.

Please pray that one of us can find a job with insurance soon and praise the Lord for the care He is already providing for us! Love to you all!

This was not our idea. And we love that!

We're pregnant, unemployed, without insurance!  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!


How's that for timing!  We are thrilled beyond belief for the privilege of being parents. And, we know that this is certainly God's doing, and certainly his timing.  Goodness knows we've tried.  The difference now, that makes it feel very much like God and not us?  We recently decided it wasn't up to us.  We changed our mindset completely.  Before, we thought it was up to us to decide the plan, to work the plan, and to eventually execute plan baby.

But recently, we read some things that stopped our plans cold, and made us happy to lay them down.

We read two really key things.  One was a paraphrase of John Paul II, that each human is a complete person, created in the image of God.  We saw the outworking of that idea in this paragraph from a document called Donum Vitae: (emphasis mine)

"On the part of the spouses, the desire for a child is natural: it expresses the vocation to fatherhood and motherhood inscribed in conjugal love. This desire can be even stronger if the couple is affected by sterility which appears incurable. Nevertheless, marriage does not confer upon the spouses the right to have a child, but only the right to perform those natural acts which are per se ordered to procreation.

A true and proper right to a child would be contrary to the child's dignity and nature. The child is not an object to which one has a right, nor can he be considered as an object of ownership: rather, a child is a gift, "the supreme gift" and the most gratuitous gift of marriage, and is a living testimony of the mutual giving of his parents. For this reason, the child has the right, as already mentioned, to be the fruit of the specific act of the conjugal love of his parents; and he also has the right to be respected as a person from the moment of his conception." (Donum Vitae)

We immediately knew that we had to scrap the plan, we had to rely on God to order our plans and provide our resources.

So, join us as we ride the waves.

POSITIVE!

Hello dear family and friends! If you are reading this post then things are progressing well with the pregnancy! We have experienced early loss before, so we want to be more sensitive this time and wait to tell most people the happy news until baby's health is more certain!

In the meantime, it is really hard not to tell each of you the good news! We must fight the impulse to tell each of you, our Starbucks barista, the checker at the grocery store, and the guy in the car next to us on the freeway. Instead, we must release our excitement in this blog to share with you at a later date.

We got our first positive test result on Feburary 6th (Superbowl Sunday). I was hoping it would be positive, but wasn't really expecting to see a second line when I went back to check on the test. When I saw the second line, I sucked all the air out of the room and said, "I see something!" Pete came running over, peered over my shoulder, and confirmed that he saw another pink line too! We smiled, hugged, kissed, and took some pictures.

Every day since, we have tested and the second line has gotten progressively darker - a great sign that baby is content to hang out in my belly! We are incredibly blessed and so excited! At first, it didn't quite feel real to either of us, but as each day has passed and we've seen "progress," we are becoming increasingly excited and so grateful for the little life God has chosen to be a part of ours.

This is truly a miracle in our lives because we have been told by doctors that there was a statistical probability we would be unable to have children. We are so grateful that God has shown Himself to be greater than our statistical label and our well-meaning doctors.